Taking things personally

When people talk negative about us or look down at us, it is hard not to take it personally. But what exactly are we taking personally? It is other people’s opinions and feelings. The hurtful feelings are not ours. We are taking on unnecessary burden.

When people are behaving negatively, their behavior says a lot about them and NEVER about you.

Their opinion about you or your behavior comes from their upbringings or thoughts; it has NOTHING to do with you or your behavior.

Therefore, do not take anything personally. They don’t know you the way you know yourself. Perhaps you made mistakes but you are not a mistake. Your mistakes don’t represent you. You are whole regardless of your behavior.

If we hate people who hate us, then we are reflecting on their behavior, not their true self. If we forgive those who hurt us, we are reflecting on their true self. And since we are all one source, forgiveness means being true to ourselves.

It is easier to forgive than you think. We all have said bad things about others, either to hurt them or gain approval from others. If you can forgive yourself, you can forgive those who have done the same thing.

So next time someone says something hurtful, remember to repeat, “It is not about me, it is about them. I forgive.” :-)

Unique Journey to the Whole

Image  by Chris Bourne from http://www.openhandweb.org/journey_life

 

It is said that real happiness lies in the journey itself and not in the destination. 

We are all on a unique journey. 

It is a journey to experience pure joy in the physical form and evolve our consciousness.

When we are born we know this but by the time we reach adulthood our environment creates the illusion for need of sufferings.

One of the reasons we forget that our journeys are unique is due to a constant pressure of 

competition. A lot of us are told that unless we are successful according to the expectations of society we are not really successful. We are not enough educated, we don’t have a great job, our friends are not good enough, we haven’t bought a house yet, we are not married yet, we are too fat or too skinny, the list is endless.

The truth is that no two journeys can ever be compared. If two trains are going to the same destination but taking different routes and reaching at different times, the trains have still fulfilled their purposes. The trains have boarded different people from different stations. Both routes are equally important for the train transportations as a whole.

Sometimes we feel depressed because we have not reached our own set goals. There is no need to suffer for this illusion of failure. 

We are part of the whole universe. The things that happen to us may seem unimportant but they are needed for our journeys so that we can evolve our consciousness. 

Never feel that you must do something to in order to be successful. You are already a success because you are part of the universe. By being born you have embarked on a journey that is needed for evolution of universal consciousness. 

Your only part is to do things that you enjoy. If you don’t have things that you enjoy then do things in a way that they give you joy. A simple way to enjoy things is to simply be aware. When you are aware of your breath your stress cannot stay and you can enjoy the present moment. 

 When you are aware of things rather than thinking about things, you cannot experience anxiety. Do things in simple ways rather than complicating them. 

Remember that you can never rush. You are never too late. You are never too early. You are not fat. You are not skinny. You are on your own unique journey.  

Don’t distress yourself for the things that happened or didn’t happen. Everything is at the perfect pace. When you interfere with this pace, you lose the peace and the joy that comes from that activity. So don’t take pressure from anyone and enjoy your journey.

Your journey is important for the whole universe.The only journey is within!!

Do It Anyway

The hardest thing to do is to begin. We often plan things in our mind but rarely take actions. We are too consumed in daily lives of what is than what can be.

Can it be because we are lazy?

No, we are not lazy. We wake up every day even when we don’t feel like it, dress ourselves and our kids, go to work or school and come back home. By no means that can be called lazy.

I believe that real reason that we do not take actions is that deep within us lies fear. This fear stops us from doing something new or unusual because it might be scary. We feel safer where we are because at least we are familiar with the feelings.

There are two types of fear. Fear of failure and fear of success.

Fear of failure: This is a learned fear. I believe that fear of failure is learned through our parents. It is hard for adults to learn swimming because adults are more fearful of unknown situations compare to children, who are always eager to try new things.

As we grow older, we observe our parents or surrounding adults talking about failure in negative way and assume that this is a legit fear. If adults surrounding us did not respond to their failure positively we learned that it is bad to fail. Failing is not bad. Never trying is bad. Never taking a risk is bad.

When we do something we are bound to make mistakes. But taking no action is the worst mistake. We are bound to miss 100% of the chances we never we take.

Fear of success: Fear of success protects us from being in limelight. It is uneasy for many people to even receive a compliment. They are afraid that by being the focus they are attracting unwanted attention from enemies (due to our evolution process- lion eats the person who is in the front not the ones in group).

It is not easy to get rid of any of the fear and you shouldn’t. As I said, fear is here to protect us, it guides us. That feeling you get when you know you need to run away from danger is fear. It is only trying to protect you. It’s not only good thing, it is an amazing thing.

Every time we encounter fear before taking an action, we need to convince ourselves that there is no danger in doing it. E.g. at first you might be afraid to swim but under a trained instructor you can convince yourself that nothing bad can happen to you, you will always be protected by your instructor. If protection is taken care by instructor, fear can rest and you can finally take the first step in a swimming pool.

No matter how scared you feel to do something, do it anyway. People who succeed feel the same fear but they take actions anyway.

Taking the first step might be harder but once you get started you know your journey will end one day. You might fail but you might as well succeed.

No matter the outcome, taking the first step is already a victory.

Failure is only an illusion, with every failure there is one less attempt to try.

Success is also an illusion. Success is not just an award in a ceremony; it is the satisfaction you feel in your heart knowing that you had enough courage to go beyond your fears. You untangled the web of fear and through it you made a quantum leap into the web of actions.

Every action has a reaction; it is only matter of time when your seed will grow the first root. Remember root is within soil, you cannot see it until first sprout comes out but you know that it is there. Have patience.

Never ever stop taking actions because every time you start something you have changed this world just a bit.