Taking things personally

When people talk negative about us or look down at us, it is hard not to take it personally. But what exactly are we taking personally? It is other people’s opinions and feelings. The hurtful feelings are not ours. We are taking on unnecessary burden.

When people are behaving negatively, their behavior says a lot about them and NEVER about you.

Their opinion about you or your behavior comes from their upbringings or thoughts; it has NOTHING to do with you or your behavior.

Therefore, do not take anything personally. They don’t know you the way you know yourself. Perhaps you made mistakes but you are not a mistake. Your mistakes don’t represent you. You are whole regardless of your behavior.

If we hate people who hate us, then we are reflecting on their behavior, not their true self. If we forgive those who hurt us, we are reflecting on their true self. And since we are all one source, forgiveness means being true to ourselves.

It is easier to forgive than you think. We all have said bad things about others, either to hurt them or gain approval from others. If you can forgive yourself, you can forgive those who have done the same thing.

So next time someone says something hurtful, remember to repeat, “It is not about me, it is about them. I forgive.” :-)

Thought Pollution

We are aware of noise, water and air pollution. There is also thought pollution on this earth.

Thought pollution is defined as contamination of inner peace by negative thoughts. 

Thinking is an important tool for human beings. We think, so we can solve our problems. When we start creating problems in our head, thoughts become problems.

Our thoughts have frequencies to attract similar thoughts. E.g. when we think inspiring thoughts, our next thoughts will also be inspiring, unless this frequency gets interrupted by a different thought e.g. an insult by your boss.

Once our thought gets contaminated by a negative thought, similar thoughts will get attracted.

When we fall asleep, we do not think. Our brains are working but we do not think. If we sleep for 7-8 hours, we wake up refreshed. This is the best time to think positive thoughts because we get to start a new string of thoughts.

Start your day with appreciation for life. You will think similar thoughts throughout your day.

When this string gets interrupted by an outside negative thought, start appreciating again. Appreciation is the best way to keep the mind clear of negative thinking. 

This is not a onetime process. Just as we clean our bodies every day, we must clean our minds every day.

A dusty piece of jewelry is still jewelry. Crumbled money does not lose its value, we simply straighten it out. It is the same with mind. When our minds are clean and clear, we can see its beauty. We become aware of its magnificence. 

We can change our thought patterns by shifting to one powerful thought. It can be from within e.g. a positive self-talk or from outside e.g. a compliment from a friend. You do not want to be dependent on outside force. To shift your thought, practice going within. You are not limiting yourself but tapping into an infinite force. By going within, you are approaching the whole Universe. 

This newsletter is intended to start a positive thought string in the morning. I hope your every day is filled with laughter and joy. 

Remember: only when clouds disappear, we can see the beautiful stars :-)

Source: http://colorblindmedia.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/9A3C3350.jpg

Why Bad Things Happen to Good People?

When I first learned about the law of attraction, I wondered how a nice person can attract bad things. 

I thought that a good person is inherently a good person so his or thoughts can never bad. 

I now realize that there are no such things as good or bad. We have created these labels for our convenience. 

The law of attraction does not judge us. It only responds to the frequency of our thoughts. When we are vibrating on a frequency of being a victim, the law of attraction will bring us people who will make us feel like a victim. The law doesn’t say, “omg, Smita what are you doing, think something different” or “even though she is thinking thoughts of being a victim I will still bring her people who respect her”. The law does not label our thoughts; it simply brings them as a reality.

This is the reason bad things happen to good people. I recently met a person who does his best to serve others. He told me that all his life he served others. Unfortunately he thinks that people take advantage of his good nature without reciprocating. The law of attraction simply makes it a reality for him. If he believes that he is served by others as others serve him, his reality will reflect that.  

Our most important task is to pay attention to our thinking pattern. Even better would be to think as little as possible and to stay in the present moment. If silencing your mind is a too difficult task, at least think thoughts that bring you a positive reality.

In the core of us, we are neither good nor bad. We simply are. Things don’t happen to us, we attract them.

5 Es to Exceptional You

1. Express yourself: You are a channel through which Universe expresses itself. If you do not express, you are denying the truth that is within you. 

What is mean by expressing yourself? Expressing does not mean giving opinions. 

Expressing = accepting your feelings. It is about you. 

E.g. She is a bitch --> Opinion

I am angry at her because her actions made me feel bad --> Expressing

When others fail to fulfill our expectations we feel angry, resentful, envious, frustrated etc. 

We need to identify how we feel about certain issues and then release the emotions. 

Why?  Trapped emotions reflect through our bodies. Emotions = Energy. Energy needs to escape so it can be re-purposed. 

By releasing your emotions i.e. expressing yourself, you make space for new energy. If you are always angry, how can you ever be joyous? 

I do not mean you forget what happened. You consciously forgive others and yourself so you can move on. 

How to express yourself? When your partner says something hurtful or when your boss criticizes you, don’t bottle it up. I don’t mean scream at them right there and then. Remember that expressing yourself is about you, not them. 

When you are alone or with a trusted friend (a friend who does not judge you), let go of yourself completely. Imagine someone who has hurt you is with you and then scream at the person. Tell him or her how you feel. 

E.g. you were passed on for a promotion. When you are alone, imagine your boss is with you. Say, “Kristina (boss), I am so angry that you did not give me the promotion. I worked hard for 2 years and it feels like it did not matter at all. I feel very disappointed. I feel like I have been taken advantage of. I feel angry, resentful, betrayed and frustrated. How could you do this to me?” Think of all the emotions you are feeling and express them. If it helps, write them down but saying verbally feels so much better. Cry if you feel like it. You are not doing anything bad. You are releasing your emotions.

When you feel a little better then ask yourself what would make this situation better? Find a solution that gives you feelings of control and satisfaction (I don’t mean revenge). Can you look for another position? Can you ask for a transfer?  Was the other person, in fact, more eligible?

Sometimes when you talk to someone when they are not with you, they can still hear you. Maybe your boss will realize her mistake and promote you as well. 

Remember to express your positive emotions as well. Laugh with your heart and eyes. There is always something silly and funny going on. Lighten up your heart.  

2. Environment: Your environment brings your experiences. If you are constantly in negative emotion, your experiences will be similar. You can control your environment.

Consciously choose your surroundings. 

You adapt to your surroundings unless you are aware of it. Hanging out with a constant complainer may make you the same way. You do not have to ignore that person fearfully. 

When you are with a person who makes you feel bad simple observe him or her. Do not judge. Know that his or her experiences do not have to be true for you. Be a listening ear and nothing else. Don’t feel his or her feelings. When you do not give constant attention to complainers they tend to leave you alone so they can find someone who will feel bad for them.

3. Energize: Your sacred body and soul needs sacred energy.  

Your body loves you, love it back. 

Energize your body with nourishing foods and water. Eat for your body, not for your feelings. 

Physical exercise will release trapped emotions and toxins from your body.

Yoga will connect your mind and body with each other.

Energize your soul by expressing yourself as mentioned in the 1^st point.

Meditate regularly. Meditation connects you with the source. This is the strongest way to energize.

4. Experience: Do not judge your circumstances. Simply experience them. You do not know whether particular situation is good or bad. 

When someone gives you a gift, you think it is a good experience. You do not know that yet. The person who gives you the gift may have bad intentions for you but you do not know that. When you receive a gift, simply observe how you feel. Do you feel happy, appreciated, or loved?

When someone hurts you, you think it is a bad experience. You do not know that yet. Perhaps a small “bad” experience has saved you from a big “bad” experience. Observe how you feel. Do you feel betrayed, hopeless or disappointed? 

When you become an observer of your experience, you immediately connect to the source.

5. Evolve: Learn from your mistakes. Do not fret over them. Change habits that do not connect you with the source. Failure evolves you to success, so don’t be afraid to fail. 

Forgive and accept yourself. 

Read more, experience more and live more.

Go with the Flow

“Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.” – Bruce Lee

Do you ever feel that you are “stuck” in a situation?

The only time you can ever be stuck is when you hold on to things that no longer serve you. E.g. if you love your job, you enjoy working but you if you hate your job, you feel that you are stuck in your job.

We are never stuck. It is simply an illusion. Life is constantly changing then how can we feel that anything is stuck.

The only reason we feel stuck is that even though life is moving we are refusing to move with it. We are too afraid to let go. We hold on to what we have rather than embracing the change life is bringing to us.

Life is too short to play by rules. Take control of your own life. If you don’t like your job, it does mean that you need to quit it right away but you can start looking for a new job. Using law of attraction, you can visualize what would you like to have in your current job or simply ask for a new job. It may not be very easy at first but with time and being aligned with your desires you can manifest anything.

Nothing can ever be constant, everything is always changing. The Multiverse is constantly expanding, earth keeps rotating, grass keeps growing, our bodies change, our kids grow, our hair, nails and even the smallest atoms in our cells are changing then why are you holding on to the things?

Sometimes we refuse the changes because they are uncomfortable but sometimes we refuse them simply because they are new.  So, even if something better is happening, we hate it because we are not used to it.

When a corporation implements any new computer system to automate manual process, employees hate the new system. Not because it’s bad but because it’s new. Gradually they like it but the initial reaction is almost always negative.

However, kids react differently to life changes. They love new toys. Once we buy them something new they play with it until newer toys arrive. Kids never say no to newer toys or games. Even if they play with older ones, they will still embrace the new ones with enthusiasm.

As kids, it is easier for us to learn new things not because we are young but because our brains are in constant learning mode. Everything from learning to walk to watching a new cartoon show, we are constantly facing new things. Our brain has no option but to keep up with all of it. As we grow older we are seeing the same things again and again and our brain slows down. And then it feels so stuck.

Stress is nothing but our reaction to the changes we face.  Instead of getting stressed over the things that we cannot control, we simply need to let go of those things and move on.

Lastly, never stay stuck because someone else is. If a friend is being too rigid to try new things, it is time to find a new friend who would. It may sound unkind but energy around you should stay flowing so that you can flow with life.