Being Positive or Being Realistic?

I often receive remarks that I am too positive. As much as I would like to take it as a compliment, I know happy people can be annoying to people who are not so happy.

So am I really a positive person? The answer is yes because I have found out that this is the only realistic way to live a peaceful life.

We go through the day with too much drama and baggage. This person did not do this or he or she did this to me. He is so mean. She is a bitch. Customer service at some store sucks. Trains are too late. 

I understand things happen and we feel aggravated. It is normal. What’s not normal is to stay stuck in negative emotions. We must move on after every experience. Life is ever changing, nothing is steady. When you stay stuck, you stink - like stagnated water. Only flowing water tastes good.

Let’s say you made a mistake in your exam or at your work. Now you can either fix it or keep feeling negative about what just happened. I know that you cannot fix your mistake in the exam, but you can learn from it. You can try to understand what went wrong and fix it to get a better score in your final. If you choose to be sad about the mistake you made but never really move on to study harder, you are not a happy person. But if you said, “I am going to get it right next time” then you are one happy camper – a positive person.

If you know that your colleague made a mistake on something obvious then you can either humiliate him or her or just try to correct the error, really find the solution. If you keep blaming him or her you will only add insult to injury, nothing else. He or she will feel miserable. You will burn your blood and what else, oh yes, get some wrinkles due to the frowns; let’s hope it’s not increased blood pressure due to the stress.

If you decided not to stay happy or have hope for the future, what do you gain? Nothing. You will keep feeling miserable and will not enjoy what you have in front of you. You might miss the easy solutions. You will keep frowning and become very wrinkly ;) Your body cells will feel resentment and your face might become crooked. Your body will produce stress hormone (Cortisole) which will bring stubborn fat in your belly. 

The alternative is to be realistic. Acknowledge what happened is gone and there is nothing, by nothing I mean absolutely nothing that can be done to fix the past. If you keep dwelling on the past you are being unrealistic. 

Being realistic is to have some hope. Know that past is over and gone and so has its power. You have the power of NOW. Start changing things now ,before it becomes past. And what will that bring? Hmm… it will bring you solutions to so called problems, beautiful face, more creativity, longer healthy life, peace in your mind.

As my philosophy goes, feel the negative emotions but don't stay stuck in them. As a human being you will go through anger, guilt, sadness, depression etc. Key is to understand that these emotions are your guidelines to know that you must change the course of your actions. If something makes you sad, simply stop doing that. 

In a nutshell, there is no other way to live a peaceful life than being positive. If we keep thinking about past (or even future) and be miserable, we will stay miserable because past cannot be changed; there are no time machines so far. If we change our perspective to positive, no matter what the situation is we will be peaceful, calm and happy.

Don’t be too harsh on yourself no matter what. If you miss a train today, affirm that next train is coming soon. If you catch the train, affirm that you will get a seat soon. 

Be positive, it’s the only way to be realistic.

What if you could see through the truck?

On Saturday I went to my great friend’s amazing house. When I was walking to the train station I was afraid that I will miss the only train that could take me there. I was walking in fast pace and all of a sudden the red hand stopped me – NYC traffic light. 

I was in rush and I wanted to cross the street but I could not see if the cars were pulling in. There was a big red Coca-Cola truck parked on the street. It was hard to see beyond this fat truck. 

But I decided to take risk and slowly came forward to see if cars were coming. Sure enough there was no car coming, perfect time to cross the street without having the walk signal. 

I have crossed the street hundreds of times without having a walk signal. This time it was tough because of the truck, I was unable to see through it. 

I thought what if the truck was only my imagination? Let’s say that the truck represents our fear and doubts in life. If our fears and doubts are so big that we cannot see beyond them we will never take the first step to cross the street- to reach our dreams. We will be scared that anything can come from the other side, let’s just wait for the walk signal. But what if walk sign in life never comes. Will we be stuck on this side of the street? Unfortunately many people may think that at least it’s safe here and never take the first step.

Friends, I know it is hard to let go of the fears and doubts. It’s completely natural. In fact, our very survival depends on it. What if the cars were in fact coming, I could have lost my life in the rush. 

There is nothing wrong in being fearful and seeking safety. My point however is that even though there is fear; take the first step in the present moment.

Let your mind know that in the unknown territory, you can discover opportunities to live your dreams. Welcome your doubts, explain them that “I know this is the first time I will be doing this, but I would like to at least try it” and take that first step. 

Tomorrow, tell someone you love them, even though there may not be reciprocal. The friend who keeps insulting you, tell him that you need to set up boundaries. Tell your boss how much you appreciate his efforts and thank him (even though he will think you are acting crazy). Tell your neighbor to shut his dog. Say thank you to the police officer. Try at least one new thing- any new thing or look at something in a new way. Eat ice cream as if it’s a vegetable and eat vegetable as if its ice cream.

Small changes form habits. I have suggested small things but soon you will start seeing beyond the big truck of fear and doubt and start taking steps towards the pathway success!!

Affirmation for releasing fear and doubt: 

Everything I touch is a success

New pathways are opening up for me

I am safe wherever I go

I accept new ways and new perspectives in life

I can see everything clearly