Forgiveness!!

As a firm believer in Law of Attraction, I believe that everything in my life is attracted by me. Sometimes I attract joy and sometimes I attract sadness. However, this does not mean that I should keep feeling guilty about bad situations in my life. When someone disrespects me, it does not automatically mean that I have no respect for myself but that somewhere I felt “not good enough”. This feeling my not have lasted for very long time but it was there for a few moment.

Sometimes we do things without realizing its effect. E.g. you may steal paper clips from your work, thinking nobody cares but when you realize that someone has stolen something that is important to you, you care. You don’t immediately connect two situations but there may be a correlation. When you steal something from your, no matter how small, you are telling the Universe that you cannot afford a little bit of consideration towards your workplace and you do not have enough money to buy such petty things. Your feelings will return to you multifold. Someone may steal your valuables without considering your feelings. These valuables don’t have to be money or material things; they can be your feelings. So next time when you get hurt, ask yourself what feelings you gave out to attract this situation? Did you steal petty things or someone’s pride without considering the consequences?

Everybody has a choice to think and to act in whichever way they please. When someone has done wrong to you they have exercised their right to choose. It’s rather unfortunate that they did not consider your feelings. However, now it is done, whatever it was - it’s already done to you. There is nothing that you can do to change that. You can take revenge but that will not “fix” the situation or take you back in time when it had not happened. It has happened, just like that. You have attracted it but it is not your fault.

So what do you do now? If you are a spiritual person, you may feel, well only thing to do is to forgive. Yes. Forgiveness is necessary but it is very difficult. It is hard to forgive someone who has done unjust to you. It was not fair to you. Nobody should be able to get away with what happened to you.

But forgiveness does not mean that you are accepting what happened it only means that you are releasing yourself from that situation. Unfortunately, it is difficult to forgive and release yourself or the other person freely.

I believe that as a human being with feelings, directly forgiving someone after an unfair incident should not be expected. So, please don’t feel bad for hating the person who did wrong to you. It is normal. The best way to move past something is to go through it. You cannot cross the river without going in it first. You can build a bridge but you will still see the river. River isn’t going anywhere as long as you want to pass it, no matter how you pass it.

In order to move past any bad experience, the first step is to acknowledge that you did not deserve the wrongdoing. Nobody deserves it.

Next is to remember some simple points:

It is OK to be angry. By being angry, you are expressing your feelings. You are NOT a bad person for feeling this way. You are a wonderful person who deserves nothing but love and joy.

Don’t try to forgive the person just yet.

Think of the situation that happened, I know you want to forget it, but think about it anyway.

Let’s say someone stole your idea at work or someone molested you in the bus or your father beat you when you were only 5. All these situations are terrible, unfortunately worse has happened to people and they are the real deals on this Earth.

Look at the scene as a third person. See your face and expressions. Feel the anxiety or fear you were feeling at that time. Now tell your old self:  “You are going to be just fine. Don’t mind the other person who is being wrong. He or she does not know you the way I do. You are going to forget about it soon. The future will NOT be affected because of this incident. Everything is always in our hands.” Try to send love into that situation, specifically to yourself. Now forgive YOURSELF for being in that situation. Remind yourself that this could not have been avoided. There is no need to feel guilty about it anymore. What happened was wrong but now you have moved on. The future life is still good.

Now release the feeling of shame and guilt. More than angry at the person who did wrong to you, you are angry at yourself. Release your anger slowly. Remember that this situation did not change your future. Your future is still safe and waiting for you.

Now think of your present life. What is it that you can do today? Right now? Can you start over?

Yes, we can always start over. The sun always comes out in the morning.

At the end, you don’t need to forgive the other person because apparently he or she did not even affect your life. You are in control of your life and not the other person. Whatever happened was an experience. Life is full of experiences – some good and some bad. You had a bad experience and now it is gone. You have learned what needed to learn and moved on.

Only person you ever need to forgive is yourself. When you practice the above steps you will realize that there is no need to forgive others because they were unable change anything in your life. Yes what they did was wrong but you will not suffer because of them. You are sensible and you will take sensible steps to prevent that from happening again.  

My friends, every moment matters and this is the moment when you have decided to let go of the past. Congratulations for that. Live your life to the fullest. Nothing can and nothing will hold you back. You are so amazing that sometimes you amaze yourself. You are a true gift to the world; you did not come here by chance. This world needed you. Whether you realize it or not, this world would have never been same without you. You are here now; you know your true worth. Even if your had forgotten about it for a little while, you remember it now. In this moment you are determining to live your life to the fullest. You do that by not laying low but by being yourself, by expressing yourself and by converting your ideas into inspirations, inspirations into actions and actions into inspirations to others. And most importantly, by forgiving and moving on.