Being Positive or Being Realistic?

I often receive remarks that I am too positive. As much as I would like to take it as a compliment, I know happy people can be annoying to people who are not so happy.

So am I really a positive person? The answer is yes because I have found out that this is the only realistic way to live a peaceful life.

We go through the day with too much drama and baggage. This person did not do this or he or she did this to me. He is so mean. She is a bitch. Customer service at some store sucks. Trains are too late. 

I understand things happen and we feel aggravated. It is normal. What’s not normal is to stay stuck in negative emotions. We must move on after every experience. Life is ever changing, nothing is steady. When you stay stuck, you stink - like stagnated water. Only flowing water tastes good.

Let’s say you made a mistake in your exam or at your work. Now you can either fix it or keep feeling negative about what just happened. I know that you cannot fix your mistake in the exam, but you can learn from it. You can try to understand what went wrong and fix it to get a better score in your final. If you choose to be sad about the mistake you made but never really move on to study harder, you are not a happy person. But if you said, “I am going to get it right next time” then you are one happy camper – a positive person.

If you know that your colleague made a mistake on something obvious then you can either humiliate him or her or just try to correct the error, really find the solution. If you keep blaming him or her you will only add insult to injury, nothing else. He or she will feel miserable. You will burn your blood and what else, oh yes, get some wrinkles due to the frowns; let’s hope it’s not increased blood pressure due to the stress.

If you decided not to stay happy or have hope for the future, what do you gain? Nothing. You will keep feeling miserable and will not enjoy what you have in front of you. You might miss the easy solutions. You will keep frowning and become very wrinkly ;) Your body cells will feel resentment and your face might become crooked. Your body will produce stress hormone (Cortisole) which will bring stubborn fat in your belly. 

The alternative is to be realistic. Acknowledge what happened is gone and there is nothing, by nothing I mean absolutely nothing that can be done to fix the past. If you keep dwelling on the past you are being unrealistic. 

Being realistic is to have some hope. Know that past is over and gone and so has its power. You have the power of NOW. Start changing things now ,before it becomes past. And what will that bring? Hmm… it will bring you solutions to so called problems, beautiful face, more creativity, longer healthy life, peace in your mind.

As my philosophy goes, feel the negative emotions but don't stay stuck in them. As a human being you will go through anger, guilt, sadness, depression etc. Key is to understand that these emotions are your guidelines to know that you must change the course of your actions. If something makes you sad, simply stop doing that. 

In a nutshell, there is no other way to live a peaceful life than being positive. If we keep thinking about past (or even future) and be miserable, we will stay miserable because past cannot be changed; there are no time machines so far. If we change our perspective to positive, no matter what the situation is we will be peaceful, calm and happy.

Don’t be too harsh on yourself no matter what. If you miss a train today, affirm that next train is coming soon. If you catch the train, affirm that you will get a seat soon. 

Be positive, it’s the only way to be realistic.

What if you could see through the truck?

On Saturday I went to my great friend’s amazing house. When I was walking to the train station I was afraid that I will miss the only train that could take me there. I was walking in fast pace and all of a sudden the red hand stopped me – NYC traffic light. 

I was in rush and I wanted to cross the street but I could not see if the cars were pulling in. There was a big red Coca-Cola truck parked on the street. It was hard to see beyond this fat truck. 

But I decided to take risk and slowly came forward to see if cars were coming. Sure enough there was no car coming, perfect time to cross the street without having the walk signal. 

I have crossed the street hundreds of times without having a walk signal. This time it was tough because of the truck, I was unable to see through it. 

I thought what if the truck was only my imagination? Let’s say that the truck represents our fear and doubts in life. If our fears and doubts are so big that we cannot see beyond them we will never take the first step to cross the street- to reach our dreams. We will be scared that anything can come from the other side, let’s just wait for the walk signal. But what if walk sign in life never comes. Will we be stuck on this side of the street? Unfortunately many people may think that at least it’s safe here and never take the first step.

Friends, I know it is hard to let go of the fears and doubts. It’s completely natural. In fact, our very survival depends on it. What if the cars were in fact coming, I could have lost my life in the rush. 

There is nothing wrong in being fearful and seeking safety. My point however is that even though there is fear; take the first step in the present moment.

Let your mind know that in the unknown territory, you can discover opportunities to live your dreams. Welcome your doubts, explain them that “I know this is the first time I will be doing this, but I would like to at least try it” and take that first step. 

Tomorrow, tell someone you love them, even though there may not be reciprocal. The friend who keeps insulting you, tell him that you need to set up boundaries. Tell your boss how much you appreciate his efforts and thank him (even though he will think you are acting crazy). Tell your neighbor to shut his dog. Say thank you to the police officer. Try at least one new thing- any new thing or look at something in a new way. Eat ice cream as if it’s a vegetable and eat vegetable as if its ice cream.

Small changes form habits. I have suggested small things but soon you will start seeing beyond the big truck of fear and doubt and start taking steps towards the pathway success!!

Affirmation for releasing fear and doubt: 

Everything I touch is a success

New pathways are opening up for me

I am safe wherever I go

I accept new ways and new perspectives in life

I can see everything clearly

Being Perferct, Being Impossible

We all make mistakes, we are humans and we are bound to make mistakes. One day, I kept count of my reactions to others when they made mistakes. At my work, I discovered that there was an error that could be avoided and I criticized my coworkers. When I was coming home, the trains were not on schedule and I criticized MTA. When I was walking home from the train station, I saw that people were not walking fast enough and I criticized them. I came home and saw that my dad had not put away the recycling and I criticized him. So who am I to criticize others, miss perfect? 

Far from it. The person I criticize most is me. I try my best to minimize errors so as to be the best employee. I was working on something and then all of a sudden thought of something that I was doing before and my heart sank. I thought I had made a big error. I rechecked my work and thanks god, I had not made the error. But when I recovered from the feeling of criticism, I thought why I feel so negative about making mistakes.

I don’t remember what happened in my childhood; perhaps I was criticized for making mistakes. Somehow I have developed a habit of criticizing, others as well as myself. If I do not accept myself even after making mistakes how can I accept others. This is resentment. I want to live in pure love and not in resentment.

I feel too much pressure to be perfect. I have decided to release the need to be perfect. It is impossible to be perfect. Instead I will try to do my best. 

You see, if I become perfect then there will be no evolution, no going forward, no new ideas. If everybody becomes perfect the way I want them to be then there will nothing different; no new ways. Since it is impossible to control others anyway, I have decided to accept others just the way they are. It means no more criticizing others. If someone makes a mistake, its fixable, no worries, no sweat :)

If I make a mistake, its fixable, no worries, no sweat :) I feel so much lighter by using this strategy. 

If you think that others are making too many mistakes and you criticize people more than you appreciate them, go within. See where is it that you are criticizing yourself. If you keep track you will be surprised to see how many times you are criticizing yourself. When you say, “ah, I am so stupid”, “what the hell was I thinking”, “I hate myself for doing this”, then you are criticizing yourself. Every time you make a mistake, say to yourself, it’s fixable. When you respect yourself, you can respect others. 

Your inner subconscious beliefs reflect your outer experiences. 

When you love and accept yourself, you love and accept others. This is pure love and joy.

Criticizing feels heavy and dark. Let it go. Feel lighter. Laugh at mistakes, learn and move on.

Affirmations: I love and accept myself and others with pure love.

I release the need and habit to criticize myself as we as others.

Benefits of Various Foods

Food chart with benefits:

Apples	Protects your heart	Prevents constipation	Blocks diarrhea	Improves lung capacity	Cushions joints
Apricots	Combats cancer	Controls blood pressure	Saves your eyesight	Shields against Alzheimer's	Slows aging process
Artichokes	Aids digestion	Lowers cholesterol	Protects your heart	Stabilizes blood sugar	Guards against liver disease
Avocados	Battles diabetes	Lowers cholesterol	Helps stops strokes	Controls blood pressure	Smoothes skin
Bananas	Protects your heart	Quiets a cough	Strengthens bones	Controls blood pressure	Blocks diarrhea
Beans	Prevents constipation	Helps hemorrhoids	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Stabilizes blood sugar
Beets	Controls blood pressure	Combats cancer	Strengthens bones	Protects your heart	Aids weight loss
Blueberries	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Stabilizes blood sugar	Boosts memory	Prevents constipation
Broccoli	Strengthens bones	Saves eyesight	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Controls blood pressure
Cabbage	Combats cancer	Prevents constipation	Promotes weight loss	Protects your heart	Helps hemorrhoids
Cantaloupe	Saves eyesight	Controls blood pressure	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Supports immune system
Carrots	Saves eyesight	Protects your heart	Prevents constipation	Combats cancer	Promotes weight loss
Cauliflower	Protects against Prostate Cancer	Combats Breast Cancer	Strengthens bones	Banishes bruises	Guards against heart disease
Cherries	Protects your heart	Combats Cancer	Ends insomnia	Slows aging process	Shields against Alzheimer's
Chestnuts	Promotes weight loss	Protects your heart	Lowers cholesterol	Combats Cancer	Controls blood pressure
Chili peppers	Aids digestion	Soothes sore throat	Clears sinuses	Combats Cancer	Boosts immune system
Figs	Promotes weight loss	Helps stops strokes	Lowers cholesterol	Combats Cancer	Controls blood pressure
Fish	Protects your heart	Boosts memory	Protects your heart	Combats Cancer	Supports immune system
Flax	Aids digestion	Battles diabetes	Protects your heart	Improves mental health	Boosts immune system
Garlic	Lowers cholesterol	Controls blood pressure	Combats cancer	Kills bacteria	Fights fungus
Grapefruit	Protects against heart attacks	Promotes Weight loss	Helps stops strokes	Combats Prostate Cancer	Lowers cholesterol
Grapes	Saves eyesight	Conquers kidney stones	Combats cancer	Enhances blood flow	Protects your heart
Green tea	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Helps stops strokes	Promotes Weight loss	Kills bacteria
Honey	Heals wounds	Aids digestion	Guards against ulcers	Increases energy	Fights allergies
Lemons	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Controls blood pressure	Smoothes skin	Stops scurvy
Limes	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Controls blood pressure	Smoothes skin	Stops scurvy
Mangoes	Combats cancer	Boosts memory	Regulates thyroid	Aids digestion	Shields against Alzheimer's
Mushrooms	Controls blood pressure	Lowers cholesterol	Kills bacteria	Combats cancer	Strengthens bones
Oats	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Battles diabetes	Prevents constipation	Smoothes skin
Olive oil	Protects your heart	Promotes Weight loss	Combats cancer	Battles diabetes	Smoothes skin
Onions	Reduce risk of heart attack	Combats cancer	Kills bacteria	Lowers cholesterol	Fights fungus
Oranges	Supports immune systems	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Straightens respiration
Peaches	Prevents constipation	Combats cancer	Helps stops strokes	Aids digestion	Helps hemorrhoids
Peanuts	Protects against heart disease	Promotes Weight loss	Combats Prostate Cancer	Lowers cholesterol	Aggravates  Diverticulitis
Pineapple	Strengthens bones	Relieves colds	Aids digestion	Dissolves warts	Blocks diarrhea
Prunes	Slows aging process	Prevents constipation	Boosts memory	Lowers cholesterol	Protects against heart disease
Rice	Protects your heart	Battles diabetes	Conquers kidney stones	Combats cancer	Helps stops strokes
Strawberries	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Boosts memory	Calms stress
Sweet potatoes	Saves your eyesight	Lifts mood	Combats cancer	Strengthens bones
Tomatoes	Protects prostate	Combats cancer	Lowers cholesterol	Protects your heart
Walnuts	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Boosts memory	Lifts mood	Protects against heart disease
Water	Promotes Weight loss	Combats cancer	Conquers kidney stones	Smoothes skin
Watermelon	Protects prostate	Promotes Weight loss	Lowers cholesterol	Helps stops strokes	Controls blood pressure
Wheat germ	Combats Colon Cancer	Prevents constipation	Lowers cholesterol	Helps stops strokes	Improves digestion
Wheat bran	Combats Colon Cancer	Prevents constipation	Lowers cholesterol	Helps stops strokes	Improves digestion
Yogurt	Guards against ulcers	Strengthens bones	Lowers cholesterol	Supports immune systems	Aids digestion

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